I can’t dwell on Storm’s death.  I have to move on. My animals need me and it is certainly not the time to sit and do nothing (I can hear my mother’s voice in my head very loud saying this).

And possibly Monster’s (even louder).

The Shetland ponies are still on their never-ending diet.  I tell myself it is for their own good and I must be firm.

Every two days, they get a bit more field to eat which will eventually become the winter track.  Today, I opened a new bit for them and they were very pleased.

The snow is not helpful and the ponies have to work hard to find their grass but only during daylight hours.

But dig and find food, they do and they don’t seem to be suffering on this meagre amount of forage.  They get haynets at night to keep them going.

I spent my afternoon in my shed making a sheep to hopefully sell one day.  It is always good to have stock, I tell myself.  Someone will give him a home eventually.

It feels like I am just going through the motions now, trying hard not to live in the what-ifs, and where-did-I-go-wrong scenarios that won’t stop playing through my head.  I wish they would stop.  I can’t turn back time.

And I miss Storm more than words.  I miss his sense of humour.  Who is going to make me laugh now?